Heaven's Most Wanted Man, Part 2

FAMILY  Season 2, Episode 011  ~~START at 23:44~~  "Heaven's Most Wanted Man" Part 2, audio podcast by award-winning western author Stephen Bly. What did God see in Joseph as the earthly father for His Son? Sponsored by BlyBooks.com Legacy Series.  

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Transcript

HEAVEN'S MOST WANTED MAN, PART 2 

Perfect men can be hard to find. Superman’s dead. Tarzan lives in an old folks’ home in Santa Monica. That leaves Bill Cosby and me. And sometimes I worry about old Bill. But I’ve been looking around about how to find the role model of a perfect husband. 

I spoke on that topic at a church back in Cleveland. An older lady came up front after church, beaming ear to ear. “I want to tell you about the perfect husband,” she said. “My husband is exactly what you described.” She told about how loving, caring, and sensitive he was.  

Meanwhile, a bald-headed man with mustache, and white patent leather shoes stepped up beside her. I reached out my hand to him. “Man, I’m so glad to meet you. I’ve been looking for you all across the country. Your wife told me all about you.” His wife said, “No, no, no! I meant my first husband.” So, I still hadn’t found the perfect husband. 

I tried to look for a biblical model. What’s a perfect husband and father from a biblical perspective? That’s a difficult task too. A lot of great men aren’t always great husbands and fathers. Men of God like King David or Samuel had disappointing marriages or children. Daniel didn’t have a family.  

So, I looked in the New Testament, Matthew 1:18-25.

“Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows. When his mother, Mary, had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit. And Joseph being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, desired to put her away secretly. But when he had considered it, behold an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream saying, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for that which has been conceived of her is of the Holy Spirit. And she will bear a son and will call his name Jesus, for it is he who will save his people from their sins.’ Now all this took place that what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet might be fulfilled saying, ‘Behold a virgin shall be with child and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel, which translated means ‘God with us.’ And Joseph arose from his sleep and did as the angel of the Lord commanded him. He took her as his wife and kept her a virgin until she gave birth to a son, and he called his name Jesus.”  

In God’s design, in the beginning of Creation, when he had all things planned out, it was his plan all along to send his son, Jesus, to be birthed and grow up in a human family. And there was to be a mother, Mary, but also a father and husband. Of all those he could choose from, all those available, he chose this man, Joseph.  

What qualities in Joseph’s life did God see as important? They may not be the same qualities you and I would consider of importance.  

First, remember some of his shortcomings. 

~~ Joseph was a poor man. A carpenter in those days rated barely above a slave, as far as economics. You’d think God would pick someone with a better occupation. Surely he’d want his son to live on the good side of town with a nice, peaceful home on the hill that’s well protected, safe and secure. But he picked a man with hardly any money who lived in a hovel down in the lowlands.

~~ Joseph didn’t do a lot of advance planning. For instance, take the census. Everybody on a certain day had to go to their hometown and a tax. But they had no place to stay when they got there. He hiked seventy-five miles with his nine months pregnant wife to Bethlehem. I know on the Christmas card, she’s riding bareback on the back of a donkey. But I doubt it. And when they arrive, there’s no place to stay. Surely God would send his son to someone who’s well organized, with a nice Things To Do List and a daily planning guide to keep track of the appointments. 

In fact, Joseph can be forgetful at times. When Jesus is twelve they go to the temple from Nazareth. They have a feast with all the family and relatives. Then after two or three days, they head home. At night they stop at a Motel 6 and realize, “Where’s Jesus?” “I thought he was with you.”

How do you lose a kid for a whole day? We look at Joseph and can’t consider him a perfect father. And yet, other qualities seem to be extremely important to God. 

Four Qualities God Saw 

1.)  Joseph held to stern principles. 

Verse 19, “Joseph her husband was a righteous man.”

He believed what the Bible said, that is, the Old Testament writings and the prophets. He lived out a command given. If the Bible told him how to behave, he knew he had to live up to it. I don’t think it was an easy thing for Joseph to decide he would have to put Mary away and not go ahead with that marriage. Nothing in Scripture suggests Joseph didn’t love her. I assume he did. This man didn’t put convention, custom, or convenience ahead of his relationship. He put a biblical mandate ahead. No matter what his heart felt, he had to do what was biblically right. 

The principle was plain. If that one you were betrothed to committed adultery, had an immoral sexual relationship, you couldn’t marry them. Joseph determined to do what was right. 

          Jerry McClennan worked up in the Kellogg area of the North Idaho Silver Valley in a silver mine for about twelve years. They bought a tract home, and a new truck and things were going well. Then in the early 1980s, the silver price crashed, and the mine shut down. Suddenly, Jerry lost his job with no other prospects in the mining town. He and his friends hunted all over for some work. Jerry did odd jobs here and there. His wife took in children for daycare in their home. They tried to scrape by to keep making payments on the house and car and keep some stability.

          And then some jobs opened at the mine. They hired several crews to take apart the mining machine equipment to ship down to South America. For a while, he had employment. After a week, he and several guys noticed that the machinery had been there so long, some of the silver ore stuck in the rocks behind it was still pretty valuable. It wasn’t enough to start up the equipment and run the mine again, but it was worth high grading. That meant sticking it in a lunch box to steal. His friends said, “We ought to just take some of this out.” One of them knew a guy in Winnemucca who had a smelter who could refine it. “After all,” he concluded, “the mining company owes us this much and they’re not going to use it.” 

          That night Jerry quit his job because he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t take what’s not his. But that was tough on Jerry. They lost the house and moved into Spokane with her folks. But he’s doing better now. Jerry is the produce manager at a market. His wife works at an insurance company. Ten years later, they still struggle some. His two friends bought a bar business with the stolen silver and still live in that community. But Jerry lived by stern principle, like Joseph.    

2.)  Joseph acted out of sensitivity and discretion.

(Verse 19) “Joseph being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her desired to put her away secretly. Let me make this point clear. Being a man of stern biblical principle is almost worthless if you’re not also sensitive and discrete. You must be both. Otherwise, you’re merely a tyrant who destroys more lives than pulling them together.  

Joseph had several options. 

As per Jewish tradition, he and Mary were betrothed, engaged. This engagement was so finalized he couldn’t break it without major action. Before the actual marriage ceremony, Joseph finds out about Mary’s pregnancy. He could call for Mary to be stoned. According to the Old Testament, adultery and promiscuity constituted so serious an offense against God, the punishment was death. Or he could drag her before the council at the synagogue, expose her sin in a big display of her immorality, and publicly render a divorce. Most men in his day would do the latter. Instead, he determined a different course. He said to himself, Mary’s going to have a tough time with a child out of wedlock. He didn’t want to add to her trouble, her dilemma. Yet, he knew he had to be obedient to God. He wanted to act in the most loving, quiet way for her sake.  

Tony Miller spent every Friday lunch for three years with his high school daughter, Cindy, at the pizza place near the school. At this father-daughter time, she’d tell him much of what’s happening with her. In her senior year, Cindy started dating a boy Tony didn’t like very much because he thought him a bad influence. On Fridays Tony voiced his fears and warned her not to hang with this guy. She’d just smile and continue to date the boy. Finally, Tony felt he had to forbid her to go out with him. They kept meeting on Fridays, and everything seemed okay. Meanwhile, she sneaked out at night on the weekends whenever she could. 

In March of Cindy’s Senior year, Tony headed for the pizza place, and she didn’t appear. After a while, his wife showed up. She said, “Cindy’s not coming. She’s at home crying because she’s pregnant.” 

A devastated Tony said, “I couldn’t go home and face her. This was exactly what I’d been trying to tell her for months. I spelled it out plain. I begged, pleaded, and prayed with her. And here’s the result, exactly what I predicted would happen.” 

He took off by himself and drove out in the country. He kept thinking through what he should do and prepared a speech to let her know a thing or two. Finally, he decided she’d have to get an abortion. But he soon talked himself out of that. 

Then he figured if she was so independent and didn’t have to listen to anybody, he might as well kick her out of the house. It didn’t take him long to realize he couldn’t do that either. Another idea came to send her to his sister’s place in Phoenix. She could have the baby there. He nixed that plan too.

He drove by an old farmhouse back in the trees for sale. Round and round it he drove. He thought how nice to live out in the quiet countryside. A nice place to add a little kid in such a big house. 

He returned home and within two weeks put his house in town up for sale and bought the farmhouse. After fixing it up, he built a nursery upstairs next to Cindy’s bedroom. And every Friday the rest of that Spring, Tony and Cindy met at the pizza place.  

3.)  Joseph quickly responded to the Lord’s leading.

He understood when God spoke and recognized His voice. He did as the angel of the Lord commanded him (Matthew 1:24,25; 2:19,20).

Joseph acted before he had answers to all his questions. He didn’t understand it all. A virgin birth? How could he comprehend all the complexities, where this would lead? God said, “Do it!” So, he did. 

Brett Colby and his wife, Peggy, of southern California taught school for years. When their kids reached their teens, they quit their jobs and moved to Lee Vining, on the eastern side of Yosemite National Park. They bought a mom-and-pop store. Totally different than they’d ever done before. They loved living up in the woods and being with people every day. The kids enjoyed their new school. But the profit and finances remained tight, especially in the winter.

The second year, Peggy’s sister in New Orleans called. She asked prayer about some serious surgery. As it turned out, the surgery wasn’t successful, and they kept praying. Several months later, Peggy’s sister’s husband phoned them with his southern drawl. “Brett, I don’t know how to tell you this. We don’t have any groceries and I’m out of work. Is there any way you and Peggy could send us some money?”

Brett immediately reassured him. “We’ll do it. I’ll wire it by Western Union today.”

He explained to Peggy who said, “That’s great except we only have eighty dollars in the till. This is not the time we have much income. What in the world will we send them?”

“Well, we’ll send them Susanne’s college fund.”

“So, what will do about Susanne’s tuition?” Peggy blurted.

“I have no idea, but they’ve got to have food.”

Brett heard God speak, “Give to him who asks of you” (Matthew 5:42). And he trusted Him to supply all their needs. 

4.)  Joseph had strong self-discipline.

“He kept her a virgin until she gave birth to a son, and he called his name Jesus” (verse 25).

They planned the wedding service, the ceremony, and the party. And Joseph, like any man on earth, looked forward to being married, having a wife. He wanted the companionship but also the physical union, to make love. But God said, “No,” until after the baby arrived. That’s not an easy self-discipline. 

Marty taught junior high boys at a club program Wednesday afternoons after school. He plays basketball, street hockey, baseball and anything else. Then, he teaches them about the Lord. Basically, he’s the father most of them don’t have. 

One day Alfredo came. He and his family recently moved to the area from Cuba. Not only could Alfredo not sit still, but he constantly stirred up the other boys. And he had perfect attendance. He kept the kids going into this and that distraction, but Marty kept showing him love, hanging in there with him. Two years later, Alfredo wanted to receive Christ as his Lord and Savior. Marty led him to the Lord. And what a change! Alfredo now kept the class still, quiet, and paying attention. 

Alfredo one day said, “My mother wants to talk to you. She’s noticed all the changes in my life and wants to know what’s going on.” 

Marty said, “Fine. I’ll meet with her after the club program.”

Then, to Marty’s great surprise, this young-looking lady in a beautiful red dress and long, flowing black hair and flashing black eyes appeared. He hadn’t imagined her like this at all. So then, Marty sat down with Alfredo’s mother in his office, and they discussed for two hours what Alfredo had gone through. She shared with tears how tough the trials to come to a new country and raise children by herself. Then Marty prayed with her. At the end, he looked up. She sighed and put her hand on Marty’s knee. “You know, I’ve never been able to talk to a man like I’ve talked with you. Can we meet again?”

Marty stood up. “Yes, we can meet again. And next time, I’ll have Becky my wife here. She can help you too as you try to figure things out.” Now that’s an example of strong self-discipline. 

When God looked around for a perfect father and husband, he found Joseph. I think God still searches for that kind of man.  

Stephen Bly 

1993